I turned on every light switch I could find, and in the dim halo exuded from a few 40W light bulbs, I could only feel the presence of an army of mosquitoes, ready to tackle any millimeter of my skin left uncovered. Here in one of the most expensive hotels in Bujumbura, the term “fragile states” suddenly seemed so real, as it spoke for my own fragility just as well as for the country’s weak post-conflict governance.For the first time going on missions, I couldn’t wait to return home. It is often said that home is where the heart is. That couldn’t be truer. As I finished checking in at Dulles and walked into a sea of stranger some mere 30-hour before this, I had this distinct regret of leaving behind some strong feelings fully unsatisfied – those of a heart still desperately craving for the other, especially knowing how limited time you do have to enjoy each other.
Alas – distance!
It breaks a heart like nothing else. Despite how much said about how transformational technology could bridge connection, it would never be able to substitute or merely even compensate for a warm hand to hold in the icy coldness, for passionate kisses at the door, or for irresistible body contacts rolling on the floor. Despite what has been said about long-distance relationship, the truth is that when you live two separate lives in two separate continents in two estranged time zones, you can never be more apart.
And just there and then, sitting in front of my computer – fully covered in long-sleeved clothing and heavily armed with insecticide spray – I started to really question for the first time my lifelong desire of traveling the world one mission after another. Business class tickets, expensive hotels, exotic cities: all that extravaganzas could hardly compensate for the loneliness we feel sometimes, being away from our loved ones...
If only we could have it all…
Photo Credit: Human Hand Touch an Artificial Glass Hand - from Shutterstock.com
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