In Christmas spirits...

After days of personal imprisonment, I finally got a quick breath of fresh air before jumping into a car heading to the ever crowded Potomac Mills for some Christmas shopping.

As we arrived at the destination, despite my commitment to cut cost and an occasional enthusiasm with low-budget shopping, I quickly found myself sickened by the mountain of neglected last-season clothes and the flow of low-educated and badly-dressed shoppers. The Christmas spirits, instead of dorning a beaming glow on everyone, somehow managed to add a few more lines of stress across the faces already paled by the cold and the previous snow storm. People stood in lines for hours for some small little things that, to me, were often minute in value, ridiculous in design, and potentially zero in utility. They threw their new purchases into a cart and pushed it along the stream of similarly unhappy families at the mall.

Half way through the mile long mall, I decided to get some Auntie Anne sugar cinnamon sticks - an unavoidable treat for every trip to a shopping mall. Sitting at a plastic bench still haunted by the odeur of fast food (I would say Chicken McNugget, fries, and a large order of Coke!), I was suddenly intrigued by the couple next to me. As the man was looking through the shopping bags, the woman checked off a list of gift items written neatly on a pieace of pink post-it. At the end of the stock-taking exercise, she let out a tiny, albeit tiring, smile, reaffirming the man of some little girl who would be very surprised receiving these gifts.

Then, I suddenly forgot about the river of exhausted human beings flowing by me and thought of a family surrounding a Christmas tree full of presents. Despite all the pre-holiday angst and fatigue, at that very moment on Christmas Day, they would all be worth it when the receiver found some little surprise wrapped with love. And that, to me, more than these minutias, was what Christmas represented - a season of love for everyone.

A year-end contemplation...

December and the pre-holiday rituals of Christmas party madness rolled out so fast that in the blink of an eye, two-third of the month had already passed. It didn't help either that December was one of the busiest times of the year at work, as people pushed to wrap up unfinished business before their year-end vacations. In the midst of those social and professional maelstroms, a sudden snow storm temporarily brought me to a halt and contemplate the year that is about to end.

2009 was marked by 3 major achievements: my master's degree termination, my professional embarkation, and my social reconnection. In May, I graduated from one of the top school in International Affairs, and joined the most prestigious development institution as a consultant. There's still a lot of room to develop within this institution or within the sector, but given the economy's slow recovery, it was a privilege and comfort to be there. On the social front, I managed to spend a lot more time with friends, old and new, including a special trip to Vietnam for my best friend's wedding. It was a special moment, and topped with a much desired qualification for Star Alliance Gold status, which I got for the first time after 8 years flying with the Alliance. Given these achievements, 2010 looked even more exciting!

As I sat contemplating what I have achieved and looked to the future, I remembered what my friend Selina told me, "You should save something for the future, so that you have something to look forward to." Well, I believed as we achieved something, we would create new goals to reach, and that was how we should live our lives. Per suggestion of Will, I listed 5 things I would like to achieve, as of this moment.

1. Learn to ballroom dance - a passion and a dream that had been burning inside me, but due to time and financial constraints I had not got to do. I would like to learn all, and master at least the Viennese Waltz and the Argentine Tango.

2. Travel to Russia - a very special place, not only because of our Communist/Socialist connections, but also for the kind-hearted Russian men, the Red Square, the willow tree, and the burgeoning design paradise.

3. Renovate my parents' apartment in Hanoi - this 13-year-old 2-floor penthouse would be converted into a beautiful 2 bedroom apartment according to my masterplan, which should start within the next 2 - 3 years or so.

4. Take my sister on a trip to Europe - showing her the Europe that I loved, and bonding in a cafe somewhere on Champs Elysees.

5. Train to swim better - but I would be the one who set the standard to measure what "better" meant, right?

Some short-term, some medium-term, but I thought it was a good idea to at least put them down in writing and keep them on the back burner for now... So swim lesson first?

Merry Christmas and Happy 2010 everyone!

Photo Credit: Snow in DC - by Natalia Esina

Is it good to always have a plan B?

I got back to the US in one very upsetting piece.

Apart from my long layover in Singapore (half of which spent on an Asian-size stone-hard recliner at Changi Airport) and my 2 endless flights (both in economy cabin without personal video screen), my jetlagged ass arrived at work Monday morning with the possibility of losing my precious little office. Apparently soon (dunno when!) they would make consultants bring our own computer and find an undesignated space to work.

My Facebook friends probably saw pictures from my cute little office – my own little space where I could close the door and shut down noises and bureaucracy from outside. So you could imagine how I felt about the threat of losing it. In that context, it’s no surprised that my over-thinking mind has been overworking to figure out actions to maintain my fortress. But as I frantically called up compassionate colleagues to vent and seek advice, my ACS shook my shoulder and told me to take a chill pill. “Let it happen first,” he said, “then worry later!”

Let it happen first? Wow, I thought this guy didn’t know me at all. Growing up with extremely careful parents, I learned to have plan B (and C and D and so on) for everything. Every action, in my mind, came in the format of “If…, then…” clauses. Naturally I would like to be as prepared as possible when something happened. Examples of unpreparedness, such as my Thai friend who stood at the crossroad of separation worried about a divorce with his partner, reinforced my propensity to over-think even more.

Then I remembered about my meeting with a friend before her wedding and she mentioned having thought about the worst case scenarios when her relationship would not work out. “Then,” she said, “I would just fly away and recreate my life somewhere else, away from this country.” At first I thought that was such a great thing – her coming into this all thought out and prepared! And then, it struck me that the action that she was about to take was not just an impulse purchase or a detour on her way home; it was a life-changing step that should have been culminated from a solid love between her and her partner. Coming into that with a worst-case scenario mentality is not the type of preparation you want at all.

Suddenly, it seemed quite ok to let things happen first before you start worrying about them…and with that, I felt that I should enjoy my office, at least when I still had it for myself.


Photo credit: Mexico - by Hang Do